


Loved Fantasy

by GummiBunnies



Category: Original Work, Umineko no Naku Koro ni | When the Seagulls Cry
Genre: Dreams, F/F, F/M, Psychological Horror, Romance, Violence, depressed protag fantasizes about irl ppl in dream form and goes horribly wrong, i'll add more tags to this later on to avoid spoiling the future content, loosely basing some concepts from umineko because it works, they're trying their best but ;;
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-11-07 04:56:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17953997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GummiBunnies/pseuds/GummiBunnies
Summary: Longing for dreams. Longing to love. Longing to be loved. Longing to experience what everyone else has experienced before them. Then it came, but at what price?





	Loved Fantasy

**Author's Note:**

> So this was originally a written piece for one of my classes last semester, as the final project. And well, I figured to expand on that idea because it hit the right writing itches that I was missing for awhile. There was some vague inspirations from Umineko thrown in here, but otherwise, it's mostly all original. Slowly going my way through this, I hope you'd enjoy this. :D

Dreams are supposed to be wonderful. Wonderful in a sense that you'd never expect what is to come next. A surreal experience that you feel as if you were actually in that dream, enacting deeds that couldn't be done in real life. Much like a deed that you don't have the ability to do normally, or a deed that you could never bring yourself to take action on in the real world. Most of the time, dreams are generally the imaginative playground for people to do what they wanted with no consequence, passing time as they slept overnight.

Then there's me, someone who couldn't take part in any dream. I don't have a single brief moment of a dream in my sleep. By the time I close my eyes and let sleep dull out my senses and consciousness, my dream only came out to be nothing. Not even a fabricated scene for me to waste time with, or the feeling that I was residing in a blank dream. Only a void of what was supposed to be a dream took place in my head until I woke up in the morning feeling tense and not so rested. If I were to give my dream any credit, I would say that it does its best on making me feel like I have no physical body at all, only my drained consciousness drifting in nothingness.

It wasn't fair. Why is it that I couldn't experience what other people experience on a daily basis? Experiencing a dream was what I wished for myself, hoping that it would serve as a good brief escape from reality. So it was a cruel twist on a metaphorical knife jabbed into my being, that I couldn't have this temporary escape for myself. I hated being reminded that I was not like everyone else. I must be so unfortunate and pathetic for a living thing. What did I do to deserve this feeling? I can't recall anything that came up, unless being an unremarkable human with nothing to show is what I did wrong.

My thoughts dwell longer than it should on how terrible I feel, how disgusted I feel at myself. Lingering with an awful air about me once I fell into a slumber again. I know the routine. I was going to feel nothing that was like a dream. I was going to experience nothing and wake up the next morning without any sign that I was well rested. I knew this. What could I do with a dream that gives nothing in return for me? It was only a mirror of what my life is. I couldn't change what my life is, so why try to change my dreams? Why try to change something that I couldn't experience?

Then there was nothing. My consciousness drifted about with no sense of direction in this empty shell of a dreamscape, if I could even call it that. Strangely as much as I loathed not feeling something that was like a dream, I was also content with this emptiness. Alike to a double-edged blade, this blank dream both frustrated me and made me feel safe. Surely I was irritated to never experience a dream that everyone else can have, but I felt safe. Safe enough that I would not fall into a nightmare. A nightmare would feel oddly tame if it were to be this void that I claimed for myself reluctantly. It was not like I experienced a nightmare of myself dying every time I fell asleep.

So if I continued to have no dreams, then I could slowly get used to this, but I envied those that could have wonderful dreams like they described them to be. I tried to cease my thoughts, allowing this blank dream to continue until I eventually woke up. Time passes quickly when nothing is done.

But that nothing became something without warning.

"Wow, you're really boring. I thought you'd admit angrily that lacking dreams is painstakingly boring!" A girl's voice that wasn't my own exclaimed in disappointment. I couldn't tell where, but I wasn't... alone? Was I finally dreaming? Something was happening when nothing was supposed to be taking place.

"Ugh, you're not helping your case for just blending in with this crummy dream, y'know?" The voice groaned in dismay. What was I supposed to do? Nod? Say "yes"?

"Oh wait... whoops, your dream is literally nothing. You can't even speak, move around, or even emote at me! Guess I actually have to pitch in already." It took a moment for the voice to realize that something was not right. I didn't understand. I wasn't dreaming but yet a voice is doing something in my lacking dream. Does that... count as dreaming? Before I could let the questions pile up, a sharp snap echoed throughout the void, and soon followed by something I could actually see: a light.

This form of light rapidly expanded from a small wisp to a radiating sun. All sorts of sensations beckoned at me, I felt overwhelmed by the sudden eruption to my senses. It felt like being torn apart and then put back together in a different arrangement than the last. Was... was this my lack of a dream being reconstructed as an actual dream? Was this the doing of that mysterious voice?

The questions continued to multiply, and did so exponentially once I could finally see past the light. An extremely large castle that gave off an extravagant aura was in front of me. There was no telling how expansive this structure was from the inside, but it somehow felt empty and needed to be filled with something. My sight directed itself to the sky above, all I saw was an abnormal and mystifying hue of purple dominating in the sky, much like an ominous fog that refused to show a bright blue sky that I was accustomed to in real life. Lowering my view to the surroundings around the castle, the purple haze was almost surrounding this location from top to bottom and from every imaginable side. Then I realized, it wasn’t purposefully wrapping its mysterious fog around this location, it was that this castle was atop a floating island in this hazy sky. Woefully isolated from any other place that could exist in this now awakening dream of mine. Assuming that there was more to this place than this castle island in the sky.

Now I take a look over myself for the first time, and I saw nothing. I knew that I had a body here, but I couldn’t see it. Alike to some out-of-body experience I guess. It scared me, not knowing what I looked like in this dream. I couldn’t gain sight on the voice that granted me a dream in the first place. Was this dream supposed to appear like it was finally something but it was truly nothing to behold again?  
“Okay, mostly everything’s been set up- that’s right! I forgot to mention that you’re in charge of setting up your appearance and all that. Not like I know what you want to look like in this world, so go right ahead with that, I’ll wait.” The voice piped up once again, answering my silent questions about my body. If this was really my dream, then having the power to choose how I appeared was… only natural in a place that wasn’t the real world. But how was I going to create my bodily appearance here from nothing? Was I supposed to purely imagine what I could look like?

So I went ahead and tried to imagine my appearance from the get-go. Some characteristics from my real world appearance should be fine, keeping my long wavy brown hair and my pale skin. Then there’s characteristics and traits that I didn’t want to have in this dream world, like my freckles on my face, the chubby fat from my stomach, and hints of body hair on my arms. Next I felt that I wanted traits that weren’t possible for me in the real world, in order to make me feel special in this world of mine. Maybe I wanted silver eyes. Maybe I wanted a different voice that soothed more than irritate. As for my clothing, I obviously wanted to go with the route of appearing like the owner of this castle, so an extravagant dress to match this castle was to be in order. A dress that was meant for a ballroom dance, a dress that matched with the monotone colors of the castle, a dress meant for me.

“Is that it? You sure about this?” The voice interjected my own thought process, as if this voice knew what I was thinking about. That was when I felt something. I glance down once again, I saw something that wasn’t nothing. This was the bodily appearance I thought up in my head. I saw my own hands and myself wearing that beautiful dark grey dress that I wanted. My hands went to feel the hair on my head, it was definitely wavy and in the brown shade that I’ve imagined. I glance over to a small pond that was nearby me, and search for my reflection. There, my eyes were clearly silver from what I could see in the reflective water’s surface.

This was what I imagined for myself, and I was able to have this in my dream. An overwhelming amount of happiness washed over me. I was finally experiencing something that was a dream, I was experiencing something that many other people have described to be their own dreams. So it begged the question: what now? Should something else happen or was this the extent of my dream to be?

I still couldn’t find the voice that was guiding me throughout this dream, so maybe if I’ve imagined the appearance for this voice…

“Well, I suppose I should wrap up this process. I got stuff to do, y’know?” The voice spoke in a tired tone. “You can give yourself a name if you’d like, something different than the name you have outside this new world. Other than that, I’ll grant you the title of a Witch, the Witch of Entities to be exact.”

“W… what does that mean?” I was able to use my voice for the first time in this dream, and for a moment, I didn’t mean to. That question was meant for me to repeat in my thoughts, so I was oddly silent after the fact, embarrassed on how abrupt I made my response. The voice only chuckled at the genuine confusion coming from me.

“If you really want to know, creating entities to your liking is what you can do as a Witch, along with other types of magic. It’ll become second nature for you in time, so just let it come around naturally and you’ll learn it soon enough.” And with that, I don’t think that voice ever spoke to me again. For this one instance of this dream, that is. I wasn’t sure if my next dream the next night would be like this, but I hoped it would be. I didn’t want this to go away.

But a new name, a name for myself that is in this dream world. A world where I reside as a Witch, the Witch of Entities to be exact. If I held a strong magical power in this world, surely I wanted to have a name that reflected a meaning to myself, but thinking of a name that’ll stick and be significant to me in this dream world was hard and difficult. So what could I name myself here then?

After what felt like several minutes passing by, I settled on one name that I’ll call myself here, a name that’ll distance me away from my life outside this dream.

That name was Akyros.


End file.
